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Smell My Beard
  • A girl from my dart team smelled my beard Wednesday night and said it smelled good. I found that a little puzzling but I guess the lasagna I had for dinner, with a little bit of lingering bi bim bap & kim chi from lunch, must have combined with the High Life & Jameson I was drinking and my own pheremones to create some kind of short range intoxicating emanation. Or maybe she was hungry. or joking, I dunno.

  • I have, on a number of occasions, had ladies tell me that my beard smells “manly.” They also tend to be surprised at how soft it is, apparently expecting something more along the lines of sandpaper that isn’t delicately shampooed and conditioned on a regular basis.

  • Also, just a little while ago I saw this article, which basically states the obvious:

    http://www.newnownext.com/beards-keep-you-young-healthy-and-handsome-says-science/02/2013/

  • Beards are the ideal signifier for, “Hi, I’m a male with hormones.”

  • Oh, USQ, those jokers:-) (Bloke chimed in “science reports: duelling scars make you look totally badass” when I read it to him)…

  • ferguson said: http://www.thefoodinmybeard.com/

    A lot of this stuff looks FANTASTIC.

    Oh and I would smell a beard. Beards are the best. Can y’all talk about and post photos of your beards more, please??

  • I was going to post a picture of Mary. That’d be a funny joke, right?

    Here’s the best I can do actual beard-wise, though:

    BEARD

  • I wish my beard were THICKER

  • ferguson said: http://www.thefoodinmybeard.com/

    So disappointed that this is not a bunch of pictures of beards with food in ‘em

  • jeb you babe

  • Gone now, but this was my beard on my return from the Far East:

    BEARD

  • beards

    before/after from a month ago. beard is back now, just less cavemanish

  • More before/afters please, sashwap’s rules

  • its like you shaved and it made all the lights come on!

  • I coulda swore I posted in here earlier about how awesome sashwap’s beard was.

    That is a damn fine beard and I’m sorry you murdered it sashwap

    I don’t have before/after pics. However, current beard status (besides “smells nice”): kinda grandpaish I guess

  • Nah. “Beard status: Viking” is what we have there.

  • Hoshi said: its like you shaved and it made all the lights come on!

    the beard was absorbing all light.

    also, NICE ONE jimbo!

  • Super Viking.

  • I only learned last night that ‘Viking’ was originally a verb! Not a group of people, but a thing that various groups of people did over a period of time.

  • It’s also a word for when you’re awesome at something.

    Here’s how my beard’s doing lately:
    beard

  • damn dogg

  • muy viking at beard

  • Holy shit, Gary, that thing looks bullet-proof.

  • damn Gary that is a strong beard, and a handsome man wearing it

  • for the sake of contrast w/ heartbreak, perhaps i will grow mine out all grizzled and psycho

    also, words to the wise: at Deus Ex Machina, the motorcycle shop across from the tweaker motel where I stayed in Venice, the marquee reads: A BEARD DOES NOT MAKE A PHILOSOPHER. tried to snap a photo of it but it didn’t come out. so here’s a photo of the marquee I found online. use your imagination, philosophers!

    alt text

  • In lieu of a close-up beard-oriented photo, I present this, the most recent photo taken of me, in which you can clearly observe my (very tame) winter beard.

    You may also observe me steering a canoe through a swamp with a shovel.

    beard etc

  • i just had a short story published about burying a body in the okefenokee, so i can only presume that’s what you’re doing.

  • Haha, we were actually on our way to see an abandoned graveyard, so you were on the right track! This was taken on my best friend’s family’s land down in Abbeville — south-central GA — which is not terribly far from the Okefenokee.

  • I am digging the shovel-as-oar!

    Here’s my beard-state, lookin’ triumphant as I hold the Guy Fieri prize trophy:

    image

  • My beard is pretty gross right now.

  • Davy, you look handsome and stylish! I’m a fan of leather gloves. And Greg you look handsome and intrepid.

  • Greg does not look like anything. Greg is everything!

  • I have a pretty good job. But today I turned down a better job with paid relocation and training…because I’d be required to be clean-shaven. That was the only deal-breaker. I don’t know if I made the right decision and I feel kind of sick about it.

    Men: would you be willing to eradicate your MANLY BRISTLES in the name of EMPLOYMENT?

  • Would your having a beard render you unable to perform the tasks that they wanted you to perform? If no, then they’re a bunch of sticks-in-the-mud and you’d hate working for them anyway. Fuck ‘em.

  • Although if the relocation was someplace you REALLY wanted to go, then maybe shave, have them throw some cash at you, and once you’re at the new location then ditch ‘em for something more beard-friendly.

  • I would’ve had to wear a respirator on occasion and be fitted for one, which would mean no beard. The company does really nasty remediation work at Superfund sites so I guess they’re pretty by-the-book when it comes to OSHA guidelines.

    Job is/was in Bowie, MD, which is a pretty neat area iirc. There’s an Orioles affiliate there.

  • Thermos said: I have a pretty good job. But today I turned down a better job with paid relocation and training…because I’d be required to be clean-shaven. That was the only deal-breaker. I don’t know if I made the right decision and I feel kind of sick about it.

    Men: would you be willing to eradicate your MANLY BRISTLES in the name of EMPLOYMENT?

    Uh yeah dude of course I mean wtf! Surely there must have been some other hesitancy involved there, even if you didn’t consciously articulate it to yourself.

  • He was the first guy to get back to me after I sent out a round of ~15 resumes so there was some hesitancy because of that. Would’ve loved to ask him “thanks for the offer, but can you give me a couple weeks to see if any of these slightly more interesting opportunities materialize? thx bruh”

  • Bowie Baysox fan, thermo?

    I might cut my beard for a job. It’d depend on the job, of course. Just being a “good job” might not be reason enough. Dream job? Sorry beard, see you at the geriatrics home.

  • i bought some beard soap at a craft fair this weekend. my beard smells good!

  • all these beards are giving me a boner. A BEARD BONER. A BEARDONER.

  • I haven’t trimmed my beard in over 2 months now, and it’s getting pretty mighty. The wild thing is that I also haven’t trimmed the mustache portion of my beard in that same amount of time, which is nutso for me. As much as I’ve ever let my beard grow, I’ve always trimmed the stache every couple of weeks to keep it above my upper lip. Right now, though, it’s long enough that it basically completely drapes over my mouth. It’s kinda weird when I eat, and whenever I take a drink of something I basically take two drinks (the regular drink, and then slurp up what got absorbed by the stache), but the great thing is this: My lips have not been chapped yet this winter. Which is seriously a miracle on par with feeding 5000 people with 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish. Fuckin’ nice.

  • Pics of this mighty beard

  • Well here’s one that was snapped by my pal the other morning while we were discussing just how much chicken fried steak/hashbrowns/gravy we should be consuming in our hungover state.

    photo lisas_zps6c5d5e54.jpg

  • That’s a hell of a sexy beard Josh

  • That is an excellent beard, and excellent photo, and a very excellent thing to be doing.

  • Yes. Awesome beard. Can you get it to Chicago this weekend? I will be there. I forgot to put you in the facebook group thing…

  • One Mighty Beard. One Mighty Man.

  • Clare said: Yes. Awesome beard. Can you get it to Chicago this weekend? I will be there. I forgot to put you in the facebook group thing…

    Oh man, I wish I could, but I doubt I’ll be able to make it happen.

  • :-( Yeah, I thought as much. Oh well, it’s probably not the last time I’ll be in the country!