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Fantasy Football Smack-talking Thread
  • The 16.90 points scored by Alfred Morris was the seventh-highest score of any RB in the league this week. Trent Richardson scored 16.40 points, which ranked eighth out of all the RBs in the league this week. Chris Johnson had 15.70 points, the ninth-highest score among RBs in the league this week.

    Aaaand boom goes the dynamite

  • man I tried to last-minute swap in Jay Cutler for Tony Romo last night, kickoff hadn’t happened yet but I guess I was past the cutoff

    fuuuuuck guess it might not have helped though

  • 12 more points would still have been a 6 point loss.

  • I really hate the can’t cut list in this league. Fucking Hakeem Nicks is out for the season and I can’t do shit about it.

  • Whew, I got lucky this week.

  • All I know about football is Tim Riggins and this:


  • Can’t cut lists are useful in leagues with non-active owners. I have seen managers quit and just dump their entire team, which makes that Blucas-esque situation even more annoying.

    Nicks will be off before too long though.

  • Why would a disinterested participant dump their players? That requires way more effort than just letting it ride…

  • I might be able to edit the can’t cut list, Dave. When I get back to an actual computer I’ll check it out and let you know. Usually Yahoo is on top of that for injured players, but I think some official roster move or something has to happen for it to take effect. I’ll see what I can do, though.

  • Wait, I can’t find anything that says he’s out for the season, just that he’s questionable for next week…

  • why is this in the music section?

    also, the can’t cut lists do get updated throughout the season. if brees got his arm severed in a tackle, he’d be off the can’t cut list pretty quickly.

  • I was excited by this thread till I saw what football you were talking about.

  • Hey Dave, I don’t see Nicks on the can’t cut list, so Yahoo must have beat me to it. So you should probably go ahead and drop him and I’ll just pick him up for my own team then.

  • Ugh, my entire team has pretty bad matchups this week.

  • Whoa, nice seven point week by davy thanks to a lineup with 4 byes, one injured player, and no defense.

  • Sorry about that! Our landlords have been attempting to sell our rental house this week and we’ve been living in fear and also scrambling around trying to get pre-approved so that maybe we can buy it and sadly, fantasy football never even entered my brainspace.

  • Oh look, a thread in which I can note that I’m tied with TSKS for first even though I’ve had 150 more points scored against me. Should also note that Jay Cutler finally won me a game. By playing for Jim.

  • I saw this happened yesterday image

    Mark Sanchez, ladies and gentleman.

  • That game had more beautiful turnovers than a bakery.

  • I’m in the playoffs in the league I play for money. This week I’m playing the dude with the #1 team. Either one of us should have no problem beating whoever else is in the championship, so this week is CRITICAL.

    Anyway, even though my team is good, I haven’t had to make many decisions this year, since injuries and byes have usually made them for me, but I need input this week as to who should start.


    • Pierre Garcon (has been injured most of the season, but has been great since he’s been back)
    • Eric Decker (had been having a great season until Manning realized that he could just throw it to Demaryius Thomas every time, but was good last week)
    • Brandon Marshall (obviously I’ll start him)
    • Josh Gordon (rapidly improving rookie deep threat, either gets 2 points or 20 points, but he’s up against the ‘Skins secondary this week)
    • Mike Williams (had been having a great season, but stopped catching TDs)
    • Cecil Shorts (probably a must-start if he’s really over that concussion)


    • Adrian Peterson (I’ll start him)
    • Knowshon Moreno (has been killing it replacing McGahee, but that’s only been two weeks, so he’s still a bit of a wild card)
    • Darren Sproles (was great last week, but he’s still got that bum hand, and both he and the Saints are a wild card even in the best of times)
    • Vick Ballard (has been a solid flex play for me with Donald Brown out, but Colts running game vs. Texans defense doesn’t seem like the smartest bet this week)

    Right now I have Garcon, Marshall, and Shorts in at receiver, with Peterson and Moreno at back, and Gordon at the flex. But maybe I should put Sproles at the flex? And/or put in Decker instead of Garcon or Gordon? Or keep Gordon at the flex and put Sproles in for Moreno? Help, TMN, I could use that $500

  • If it’s not a PPR, then I’d keep it they way you have it. Garcon, Marshall, Shorts at WR, Peterson and Moreno at RB, Gordon vs WAS def. If it’s PPR then for sure get Sproles in there instead of Gordon. Sproles/Gordon at flex is really the toughest call either way…

  • Ah, and it looks as if Shorts isn’t going to play after all (it sounds like he’s over his concussion, but the Jags want to be conservative with a break-out player when they’re 2-11), so I guess that answers the question, and I’ll be starting both Gordon and Sproles, though I still wonder if maybe I shouldn’t swap out Gordon or Garcon for Decker. I’m just hesitant to do that because I’m already starting Moreno and Denver’s kicker, and I’m not sure I want to be that dependent on the fortunes of a single team’s offense.

    edit: haha Yahoo this morning: “WR Pierre Garcon is only 31 receiving yards behind team leader Santana Moss, despite missing 6 games” I think he left the game early in 2 others, too.

  • Argh, now Shorts is listed as probable. Back to the original plan then, with the option to move Gordon to WR3 and Sproles to the flex if Shorts’ status changes, or to take out Garcon if RG3 isn’t going to play.

  • Ha, welp, it ended up not mattering, since my opponent’s team completely shit the bed, and my QB (Rodgers), AP, and Moreno combined for enough points to beat him regardless of what my WRs and flex did, and, you know, I also got 26 points from my D. I did end up putting in Decker for Garcon at the last second, and that was a WISE play. I won 169-68.

    Now, who to start for the championship? At this point, I think I have to go Decker, Shorts, Marshall at WR, and AP, Moreno at RB, but then that leaves Garcon (he has CLE), Sproles, and Ballard (he put up 105 yds against the Texans today, and has KC next week) as options for the flex. This is what happens when you play the wire well, and you don’t immediately dump players with multi-week injuries: you have options at the end of the season.

    Also, if GB decides to sit Rodgers next week, my brain says “Put in Carson Palmer,” by my heart says, “Put in Brady Quinn.”

  • Man, I was looking back at my fantasy football leagues on Yahoo, and between there and nfl.com I’ve been in something like 25 fantasy football leagues, and missed the playoffs twice ever, and this year I missed in 2 of my 4 leagues. I’ve gotta find some sort of market inefficiency or something and get back on top of my game.

  • And man, fuck the Patriots anyway.

  • Hey Josh.

    Hey Josh.

    I forgot to start Cousins.

  • Oh my god I just need two goddamn points.

  • Damn, nailbiters galore this week. Thanks for starting an injured QB, Dave.

  • There’s always next year

  • While I’m uncomfortable about reading something purely computer-generated, this tidbit epitomizes my championship season: “Utterly Effable scored 95.44 points against a projected 101.45 and underachieved for the 11th time this season, including the last nine weeks in a row.”

  • “The Mayonneggs scored 112.48 points against a projected 113.53 and underachieved for the 10th time this season, including the last four weeks in a row.”


  • Also just noticed that if Dave had beaten distance in week 9, the regular season W-L records would be perfectly reversed from top to bottom.

  • Josh, as commissioner, can I request that you do the right thing and adjust my score upwards by a point for my dumbassery so that the rightful team can make it to the play-off?

  • Ha, I can give you a point, but I’ll still be ahead by .18…

  • Ugh, I guess I’m going to bench Sproles again, at my peril. I just can’t justify benching Shorts or Decker, and I need Garçon in there as a hedge, since my opponent will start RG3 if he’s healthy.

  • Too bad you’re not playing Dave, who starts RG3 when he’s not healthy so that I can get into the championship HEYO!

  • sad trombone

  • Well it’s good that the championship belt can be with its rightful owner for the last year of it technically being the LPTJ league.

  • Though for awhile there I thought distance/temporary name was gonna run away with thing.

  • $500, bitches.

  • It’s come to this: Time to pick winners against the spread in the playoffs, see if the unbeaten playoff run is out there somewhere. Lines from Bovada as of this morning.

    I want Houston -5 over Cincy; GB -9 over Minny; Ravens -7 over Indy and CHUCKSTRONG; and Was +3 against Seattle.

    In other words, gimme the home teams.

  • Read a thing on Deadspin this week about how bookies are getting killed this year because favorites and overs are hitting consistently and so all these squares parlaying the Pats, Broncos, and Texans every week are rolling in cash. Bums me out that my guy disappeared into thin air last year and I’ve been missing out on it all.
    Nine seems like a lot for GB, though, third time is a charm on them stopping AP? Seattle’s defense has been so ridiculous lately that I’d have a tough time betting against them.

  • Tempted to jump on that Ravens -7. I don’t have much faith in home teams in general this time around—Seattle has a good chance against Washington as well.

    Have a feeling Washington vs Seattle is gonna be a hell of a game. People around here are psyched.

  • Two down, nine to go.

  • heartbreak said: Tempted to jump on that Ravens -7

    Yeesh, good thing I didn’t!

  • In other news, Andy Reid to the Chiefs: What does this mean for Blucas’s fantasy team?

  • heartbreak said:

    heartbreak said: Tempted to jump on that Ravens -7

    Yeesh, good thing I didn’t!

    Because you don’t like winning money?

  • Sorry, I meant I didn’t think the Ravens would win outright, let alone by 7 points. I was certainly wrong!

  • Bama’s pretty good, sure, but still not as good as the ‘94-‘95 Huskers.

  • Blucas if it’s any consolation the 2012 Fighting Irish accomplished the previously unthinkable: they got me wishing a bunch of midwestern private school catholics would crush the hearts of some southerners